Back at it again with another recap, and boy am I excited for this one! 😈 We've gotten a little taste of what's to come this year before the first international break, and things are really starting to take form. Let's see how everyone's favorite teams and FPLs squads did! 🧐
Another week, another recap! While we wait out the international break and hope our star players don't pick up any injuries, let's reflect on the crazy end of the summer transfer window. It was a photo finish to close it all out, with some serious developments that could really shake up FPL. Mostly notably, Isak has joined the dark side to make Liverpool even more clear favorites, who have now spent a record £400M 💰💰💰 in the transfer window. Yes long gone are the days when Klopp cried about Man City's FFP, and a new era of fuck you money pool has begun. Meanwhile, to fill the void, Newcastle picked up two legitimate strikers in Wissa and Woltemade. Donnarumma found a new home on the worse side of Manchester. Eze left Palace to join Bottle FC and compete for top 2. Xavi Simons AND Kolo Muani to Spurs, great moves. And Dibu Martinez almost went to Man U, but didn't I guess? But at least they got..checks notes..Senne Lammons!
No Palmer, no problem! As King Bum continues to sit out the season, Joao Pedro continues to build on his form, snagging a crucial goal for the Blues immediately before sleeper FPL points machine Enzo bagged the pen in Palmer's absence. Chelsea is certainly building a top 4 case, maybe even top 2 if the chips can fall into place through the rest of the season and if Palmer can return to form.
Now that's how you bounce the fuck back after getting Grimsby'ed. Yanited are back like they never left, poised to stay at the top half of the table this year. Own goal flubabies are working, Mbuemo is looking good, snagging another goal for the Red Devils and it was always going to be a Bruno redemption pen in the dying embers of the game to win it. Valiant effort by Burnley, with Foster and Anthony making the score sheet as well. 4 more consecutive Ws incoming to break the curse.
✨Anything is possible when you believe!✨
Sunderland (2) - Brentford (1)
One thing about this Sunderland team, they got some fight to em and I respect that. Squaring off against a historically pesky team. The Bees fell short despite opening the score late in the 77th from an Igor Thiago goal as Le Fee equalized and Isidor stole the W in the dying minutes of stoppage time.
Spurs (0) - Bournemouth (1)
You know, this one is on me for transferring in 3 Tottenham players. Never beating the worse than Bournemouth allegations. Just give us Romero and call it a season. JK, I expect Spurs to bounce back, but Evanilson in the 5th min put a stop to their early strong start for now. I am also genuinely excited to see what the new signings can do for them as well.
Now here's a game that was a fun watch. I gotta say it is great to see Grealish thriving in yet another gameweek. Another Assist brace to secure himself man of the match has me thinking I need to add him asap. And early goal by Beto set the tone for this goal fest, with Hwang Hee-Chan, Ndiaye, Dewsbury-Hall, and Gomes all finding the score sheet as well. 2 wins in a row for Everton!
Leeds (0) - Newcastle (0)
I'll give this game 5 big DOOMs 💀💀💀💀💀, begging the question that if Leeds lose 5-0 to Arsenal and are clearly ass, then Newcastle ties them 0-0, by the transitive property does that mean Newcastle is also ass? Seems pretty damning but either way, I think Newcastle has better days ahead now that they have two strikers that actually want to play for them. While I'm sure it hurts to see Isak leave, much needed reinforcements could help ease the pain quicker than expected. Wissa and Woltemade could prove to be strong adds to your teams. One more time for the road:
Brighton (2) - Man City (1)
What seemed like a sure W for Man City after a Haaland (bless him) first half goal turned into an absolute second half meltdown. As the marathon man James Milner scored a rare pen (honoring his late friend Diogo with a classy celly), the tides began to turn for Brighton. As the pressure mounted, Brajan Gruda found a late game winner to secure a much needed W.
Nott'm Forest (0) - West Ham (3)
Chris may be all out of wood, as NF took a massive L to a team that got 3-pieced by Sunderland. Jarrod Bowen redeemed his blanks by snagging a goal, Paqueta converted a pen and hit one of the coldest cellys we've seen so far this year, and former Newcastle frontman Callum Wilson snagged one for his new club. A complete win against a team who should be doing better.
Liverpool (1) - Arsenal (0)
Another textbook MHGOTW brought us a clash between the projected #1 and #2 teams for the season. We were all drifting to sleep as Wirtz continued to not beat the 007 allegations. But then...in a moment of sheer class, Mike's #1 Thirst Trap Reposting man and Hungarian legend Dominik Szoboszlai scored a freekick Declan Rice would be proud of to seal the game 1-0 where the greater of two evils reigned triumphant. While Liverpool has the edge so far, a long season remains. I for one am excited to keep using this image throughout the rest of the season.
Aston Villa (0) - Crystal Palace (3)
I truly can't explain why, but Villa are completely lost and are badly in need of a reset. The Ollie Watkins of old is gone, and there is seemingly nothing going right for this team. Hats off to Palace, even after losing some stars they showed up and got a strong result. Mateta scored a Pen, Guehi scored a world class goal, and Sarr made it a clean 3 to seal the game.
Top 3 Boneheaded Plays of the Week
Back at it with our weekly boneheaded plays, starting us off we haaaaaave:
Honorable Mention - The Wood Captainers, too early to write him off, but Forest is looking quite musty I must say.
3. The Salah Truthers and Wirtz Believers - it's really starting to look like Salah has entered his washed king era in favor of younger talent. Another blank has me laughing to the bank while Haaland continues to bag goals. Will he bounce back? Potentially, but it looks like the days of must starting him are ending. And don't get me started on Wirtz, Leverkusen absolutely fleeced Liverpool and is at serious risk of 007-ing. Mason Mount 2.0?
2. Beef, nice transfer of Bowen out for Wood. Talk about getting your dumb on, jeez bro learn how to play FPL!🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭
1. My dear friend Salih, oh nooooooo!!! Just narrowly escaping bottom dawg this week, this man was blanking more than me during my AP Calc exam in highschool. The cherry on top was the Richarlison captain in a 1-0 L to Bournemouth😂😂😂😂😂. Is our former champion washed, or just starting slowly? History says he'll find a way to bounce back to contend for the title again, but has his luck run dry (or did someone delete Reddit off his phone?)
"Pushing some lines" - 66 pts
Well if it isn't my good friend Jake Runnals, and man he is so back! Only a man of true courage and faith would rip a Bruno Fernandes captain after his showing last week, and boy did it pay off. Pair that with a massive brain Guehi play (15 points!!), a Haaland goal and bonus, and a Cuc shut out and you have our top dawg. No drinking out of the doggy bowl tonight! Indie is very proud of you I'm sure.
You know, there's a lot I could type here to roast Mike's team, perhaps his back 4 each putting up 1 point, or perhaps the Salah blank, but I think none other than our guest star and soccer news legend WinnerLilB himself sums it up perfectly, an absolute shocking week for the lad Mikey Henk! I must also say, this kid is true professional! 🤓🤝✍️ (we may have have blown our recap budget on this one as well but hey, it's the least I could do to keep us entertained for 17 seconds, maybe I can even reuse this this season!)
One thing's for sure, it's going to be hard to come back from that epic roast. Sometimes it's your heroes that let you down most, but hey, at least there's something to look forward to get back on track:
Before the next gameweek, we will break out the Frosty Wheel 2.0 courtesy of Scott (who I must say is showing some early signs of Beef fatigue), to bring us back into GW4! May the odds be in your favor. Aaaand that's it lads, until next gameweek! Have a great rest of your week, keep grinding!
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