Haaaaaaaappy Thursday!😎😎 What a week in the world of football as we enter the last 16 gameweeks of the season and the conclusion to the Champions League League Phase. We are barreling full speed ahead to the final third of the season👀👀👀, with some crucial match ups incoming that will either push the gap past the point of no return, or blow this race wide open yet again. Here it is...the GW22 recap!🎉💪
Man City (0) - Man United (2)
I don't believe my eyes, Manchester is RED!!🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
A Carrick Masterclass in the Fake MHGOTW had Man U looking like their old selves as they were passing circles around a sulking Man City who could never get a grasp on the game. Mbuemo, back from AFCON, took matters into his own feet and bagged an opener off a beautiful pass from Bruno. Dorgu would proceed to put the nail on the coffin and seal a very quality 2-0 W for Yanited. I gotta say, this is quite the response from getting knocked out of the FA cup, and shows that maybe change is finally in the air for the Red Devils😈. Mainoo finally getting minutes again certainly helped, maybe Amorim was just ideas after all. Is Man U somehow the most likable team in the league now? Is this the game that breaks Pep? Will Haaland continue to disappear in big games??
Somehow Man City, despite their drop in form are second in the league, 7 points back from Arsenal. Man U sneak into top 5 by 1 point and back into Europa league qualification. Will Carrick sustain the OG Man U vibes and keep the streak alive? Time will tell.
The Man U faithful also prepare to say goodbye to a legend of the game, Mr. Casemiro, a man who personally caused much pain in my life and stuck by Man U through tough times, forging a path for the future of the club with one push left in him! Farewell Casemiro! Someone get the Man U boys some tissues! 😢
Also let's take a quick lil pit stop in Norway 🇳🇴 to see how Man City and Haaland did in his norse homeland..oh my.. this Bodo team looks world class as Atleti look to conquer them at home to qualify top 8 in the CL. Thank god we have them at home!
Chelsea (2) - Brentford (0)
The Igor Thiago gravy train had to run out at some point I suppose, a convincing result for the Blues who put some respect back on Stamford Bridge's name. Joao Pedro and the Coldest of Palmers bury a solid win for Chelsea. Chelsea sit one point back of Man United at 6th with a big away game incoming at Palace. Brentford fall back down to 7th. MHGOTW delivers an average result.
My joke of the week comes from Chelsea's nail biter game against Pafos, where Maclane remarked: "They're literally drawing to one of the three key rhetorical devices". Only got 2 laughing emojis, but fucking got em bro. Chelsea would go on to win, but veeeery unconvincingly.
Veeeery solid result for Leeds who create a little more separation from the bottom of the pack. Fulham down to 11th, likely will be fighting for a chance at Conference League, but I wouldn't hold my breath. Goal from Nmecha in the 91st to settle the deadlock.
Liverpool (1) - Burnley (1)
You know...Liverpool might be the mustiest "good" team in the league this year. 🤦♂️ Somehow top 4 after regaining some form after the great fall off and Wirtz breaking his drought, they still are putting up some shocking results that have me convinced they aren't contenders and will end the year trophyless. Wirtz and Edwards goals. At least Liverpool has a solid CL result, taking it to bitchass Greenwood 3-0. Nicely done, Pool. Top 4 in the PL and CL despite having one of the worst seasons in recent memory! 🤷
Slot...in? (Peep Wolves at 10th)
Sunderland (2) - Palace (1)
Things continuing to slip away from Palace, now 13th, as they may have already experienced their peak as a club. Losing all the stars that kept them relevant, Guehi is also on his way to Man City for a bag and a half to add some much needed strength to their withering back line. Sunderland getting their footing again to remain in top 8 contention, just outside the bubble at 9th. Goals from Le Fee, Brobby, and Pino.
Been a while since we've gotten one of these out...
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Just when I thought I couldn't see a worse team than West Ham, good ol Tottenham shows up and out Tottenham's themselves. Absolute shocker of a game that has Thomas Frank on the hot seat if it weren't for their current CL standing. An early Summerville goal (very solid player, probably going to a good club at the end of the year) followed by a Romero equalizer. The game seemed poised for a 1-1 tie until none other than Callum MF Wilson bagged the dagger goal in the 93rd, dropping Spurs alll the way down to 14th. Archie Gray has got to go man.
Yet somehow, it looks like Spurs are going for a familiar formula, say fuck the league and focus on European competition. They were able to lock in a Europa league W, is it crazy enough to think they could do the impossible and make their way back to the CL final this year?? 🤔 Currently sitting 5th after a big W against Dortmund, stranger things have happened I'm sure!
Arsenal (0) - Nottingham Forest (0)
You know, I think Scott is trying to create a smokescreen with these Julian Alvarez rumors to distract from the fact Arsenal have been looking quite...unremarkable 🤔
Sure, they still hold the top spots in the PL and CL, but I get the sense they are just a paper tiger 📄🐅 and strong winds are approaching to blow them away. Tying Forest 0-0 in a game that could have juuuust about put them out of reach if they won it, curious to see if these point drops come back to haunt them. For now, it's theirs to lose, with a massive game incoming at the Emirates against the Kings of Manchester.
I will tip my hat, solid win to them at the San Siro to add to their midseason accolades. Who knew the striker they needed was with them the whole time!
Wolves (0) - Newcastle (0)
Wolves...huh? 🐺 It's four unbeaten for Wolves as Newcastle fail to capitalize on what should have been an easy W (if such a thing exists in this league). Not all bad for Newcastle as they drop to 8th in the PL, as they were able to redeem this result against Liverpool kryptonite PSV, looks like Mr. Wissa is finally finding his form!
OOOOOOOOOOOoooooof, absolute meltdown from Unai Emery and the Villains. What could have be a key moment to get 2 pts back on Arsenal and jump ahead of City turned south as they took a big fat L to Everton thanks to Mr. Barry. Baaaaad week to bench Pickford in a week where points were hard to come by. Emery throwing in the towel early? Or trying to fuel the fire to push ahead for a longshot title contention?
Brighton (1) vs. Bournemouth (1)
The post Semenyo era is off to a mid start for Bournemouth, who squandered a W after a Tavernier Pen thanks to a stoppage time smash from Kostoulas. Brighton 12th, Bournemouth 15th, the world turns.
Boneheaded Plays of the Week 🍖
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Pickford benchers, gosh DANG IT I NEEDED THOSE 10 POINTS NOOOO
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Nick and Timo (and anyone else I may have missed), nice O'Reilly plays dummies! Ol minus 1 headasses 🤭🤭
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Haaland sheep, think for yourselves!!!! Another blank, time to pivot 🐑
Women Respecters - 61 pts
An early bench boost, but boy did it pay off. Not to mention a galaxy brain Wirtz captain that rewarded 20pts in a week where both Haaland and Igor Thiago blanked. Nicely done good sir. 15 pts from the bench, with a nice 9 from Lewis Hall in a week full of blanks. It's up to 26th for Andy, who finds himself in prime position to compete for the Newcastle Award this year. Take a bow, lad!
Porro-no Addiction - 22 pts
Oh noooo!!!! Talk about the tale of 2 seasons for the Mitch's of the league. This could be the first all blank team of the season we've seen. Tough break for Mr. Beckman, who put up an astounding 2+2+0+2+2+2+3+1+2+4+2 total for the starting 11. Just shocking stuff here. Better days ahead my man, better days.
WOW ALREADY ONTO WEEK 23!!!! MHGOTW INCOOOOOOMING!!!
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