Haaaaappy Freakin' Friday Lads!🎉🎉🎉 Idk why everyone is capping in the chat, I ain't missing one of the post deadlines just like Julian Alvarez ain't leaving Atleti! I hope everyone had a nice week, biiiig Pokemon Presents incoming on 2/27 - they already announced rereleasing fire red and leaf green for $20 on Switch, not too bad!👀👀

Anyways, long time no see after a much needed, drama-filled double game week. Believe it or not, but we are only 12 GAME WEEKS away from crowning both an FPL and EPL champion👑👑👑 It's the point in the season where momentum begins to takeover, and players dig deep for the last push into glory. Cooler heads tend to prevail in these cases, and nerves begin to sink in for the weak-minded. Throw in Cups and Champions League, and each match becomes a test of endurance, grit, and mental toughness. Only the strong will survive.

So let's get into it..this is..THE DOUBLE GAMEWEEK 26 RECAP!!!!💪💪💪

Week in Review

Leeds (2) - Chelsea (2)

I'm getting flashbacks to GW14, another absolute shocking performance for Chelsea against Leeds after what seemed to be a sure W. 🤦‍♂️ An early goal from Joao Pedro + a 58th min Cole Palmer pen surely seemed to seal away a comfortable win at Stamford Bridge. But lo behold, the Pen God's giveth and taketh away, as Nmecha bagged one to make it 2-1, with Okafor settling the score at 2 a piece. Leeds take 4 pts out of 6 in league play from the Blues who stay one point back of top 4, failing to gain ground on Man U.

Everton (1) - Bournemouth (2)

A classic case of the Everton Red Card saga 🟥 Ndiaye broken the deadlock in the 42nd on a pen, only for red hot Rayan to equalize and Adli to secure a much needed W for the Cherries.

I gotta say, Rayan lookin kinda nice for FPL and filling Semenyo's points shoes quite nicely recently...may be time to pick him up

Newcastle (2) - Spurs (1)

Spurs in absolute freefall only FIVE POINTS AWAY FROM RELEGATION ZONE. You wouldn't know it from their fans, but Spurs are on an 8 game winless streak drawing and losing 4 a piece. This type of mustiness is what led to the sacking of long hair Amorim, Mr. Thomas Frank. Dare we see...the return of Ange Ball to complete the full circle and lead them to yet another European title? Probably not (especially if they meet Atleti in the CL).

I actually think they will get relegated, it's beyond sad. Their fans are going out quiet as a mouse as they nose dive down to go play Wrexham and Stoke City on the weekends. Where did it all go wrong, dear Spurs?

Gotta say, Newcastle (courtesy Howay the Lads!) has looked great as of late but is still sitting on the outside looking in at 10th, but I suspect they'll continue their good run of form to at least go back top 6. Special shoutout to Anthony "Angry Bird" Gordon for the 4 piece against Qarabag away, showing the Chelsea boys there really are levels to this

West Ham (1) - Man U (1)

All eyes were on Old Trafford to see if they could finally get the title they are so desperately seeking, the let that one guy finally cut his hair award. After a few dangerous moments, hopes sank as washed duct taped bones held together by masking tape Soucek dragged his nuts all over the Red Devils, going up 1-0 in the 50th. Despite all attempts, Man U just could not get past the mighty Areola until Big Ben finally broke through in the 96th. It was too little to late after some late tweaks that could have stole the game late, and it's back to square one for Man U 🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦

But with the Chelsea tie, they stayed juuuuuuust barely in top 4, and will spend the next 12 week desperately defending their placement to get back to the Champions League. You gotta feel for the United Strand (but at least he continues to get the bag). And no L's in your last 5 is pretty solid too! 🤷 

Villa (1) - Brighton (0)

Is it me or is Brighton the most forgettable team in the league this year? Villa stealing a W late thanks to a Hinshelwood OG to keep things interesting. Can't count them out juuuuust yet!

Man City (3) - Fulham (0)

3 clinical goals to put the game away early thanks to Semenyo (who has effectively rendered Foden obselete), O'Reilly, and of course, Mr. Erling Haaland! Fulham never stood a chance at the Etihad as Man City continues to build momentum after completing obliterating Liverpool's bitchasses at Anfield. Nicely done for Citeh as we continue to await the alleged punishment of those FFP breaches! The pressure for the title continues to mount..

Forest (0) - Wolves (0)

In an absolute ass-off, no one prevailed. But were bigger things in store for our already relegated Wolfey Wolves? More on this later!👀

Palace (2) - Burnley (3)

In a game that will likely have little consequence in the grand scheme of things. Burnley and the Super Clarets pulled off an absolutely electric comeback, bagging 3 goals in 7min to close the first half after going down 2-0 thanks to a Strand Larsen brace. Burnley continue to claw their way to safety, but still 6 pts back of West Ham. Palace fall to 13th, only 1 W in the last 5, how the kinda mighty have fallen.

Liverpool (1) - Sunderland (0)

Liverpool doing juuuuust enough to stay in top 6 and to keep #SlotIn. VVD stepping up big for the club when they need him as they creep 3 points back of top 4. It seems between Man U, Chelsea, and Pool, someone is destined to juuuuust get shafted out of the CL, and my money is on Liverpool. Just don't have the consistency this year despite spending $500M on mid. Hope to see them in the 2 leg showdown in the CL if Atleti can take care of business at the Metropolitano against Brugge.

AND NOW...WE HAVE QUITE THE TREAT FOR YOU...A BEAUTIFUL DOUBLE FEATURE OF OUR SURE TO BE CHAMPIONS...ARSENAL!!!!!

TAKE IT AWAY BOYS!!! 🎤 

Arsenal (1) - Brentford (1)

Woah woah woah, hold on a second, dropping points to the Pesky Bees are we🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝?? Blowing a late game lead to Keane "Grant" Lewis Potter?? Okay rough start to the double game week, but it's Brentford away! Let's cut em some slack, I mean that is the 7th best team in the league, notorious for sound fundamentals and a balanced offense and defense. I mean sure, would have been nice to get the 3, but surely they'd bag 3 against the already relegated..least points in the league..nothing left to play for..$100M less paid roster..Wolves right? Right Scott and Timo?? Right?? Roldan, you there? Guys?? RIGHT??? Ohhhh nooooo!👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Wolves (2) - Arsenal (2)

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOooooOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET'S. FUCKING. GOOOOOOO WOLVES!!! WOLF PACK UNITE!!! WOLF PACK HOWL!! 3-2-1! AWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 🌕🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺

I mean you gotta be joking right??????? The most disgusting, smug, time-wasting, anti-football club who already dropped points to the Bees fucks it all up in the last minute with an own goal from the guy they subbed on after FAKING A CONCUSSION after Trossard got pushed in the chest??? I mean COME ON, it practically writes itself! They always find a way! And what an absolute rip from the lad.

You know what they say, a picture is worth a thousand bottles! And talk about losing your heads after blowing the W in the last second. Raya picked a bad time to try and off the heezy world's softest guy who thinks he's tough, Gabriel. I've never seen such whiney baby back bitches, the shoving, the pouting, man oh man these tears are healing. Can't wait to see what the mighty Arsenal have up their sleeve for the rest of the season as they finally realize they need their top 4 to actually contribute to win games. But hey, at least Mr. 4 goals a season finally got his big pay day!!! Never change, Arsenal, never change. Let's run it back one more time for the people, welcome back Mr. Artetachoke!

"If we had extended Partey like I requested, NONE of this would have happened!"

Woaaah chilllll bro. Ok Mr. Artetachoke, that's enough for today, time to go back to botting the league yet again!

Boneheaded Plays of the Week 🦴

• Gotta give Beef credit for cursing himself for the greater good, but if he was ever going to bottle the league, this would be how it allll starts. A rogue Raya triple captain with ZERO shut outs. A seemingly safe play turned disastrous and Beef showing he bleeds. You never know, a biiiig double gameweek TC incoming later in the season could be the difference here.

• Equally promising and equally dumb, it's Maclane with the Gyokeres triple captain. 3 pts in 2 games (thanks to a yellow card) for Mr. Womp. Womp womp indeed Mr. Maclane

• Cunha and Bruno Captainers, getting a liiiittle greedy with the recent run of form, doesn't pay off this time!

• Semenyo holders, nicely done!

Top Dawg ⬆️🐶 

Antonyd for Speed - 85 pts

In the battle of Mikes, only one could prevail. Mr Big Brain Free Hit himself, Mike Powers (Sorry MikeyHenk, 84 ain't cutting it this week). SEVENTEEN from VVD, 7 from Gabriel, 14 from Semenyo, 14 from Rice Rice Baby, and 13 from Jose Sa. Sadly the only major flub was the Gyokeres captain, but like the rest of Arsenal does for him in real life, the supporting cast carried for Mike P as he skyrocketed up to 18th, cracking top 20! Nicely done lad, take a bow! It's been highs and lows for Mike this season, but just like Man U he's back with a vengeance to close out the year!

Bottom Dawg ⬇️🦮

Women Respecters - 35 pts

Pee-ew! Something smells like absolute ASS!!! Oh wait, that's just Andy's team this week after an atrocious 35 points in a double week and the only player to not break 40.

In hindsight, you probably shoulda subbed in Anthony for Odobert! Then you wouldn't have been bottom dawg!

My work here is done, better days ahead for Mr. Summersgill for sure.