GW25: What in VARnation is going on here y'all?? 🤠😱🧐

Howdy Partners!🤠 This place is definitely big enough for the 43 of us! Haaaaaappy Freakin Monday Lads!!!🎉 Congrats to our frosty spin winners today, truly remarkable job guys. I've done all I could to put this off, but the time has come. Yes we have Tuesday mid week games incoming and our first double game week of the year for the 1st and last place teams in the league, Arsenal and Wolves. Could be a good time to dust those chips off and fire off a rogue triple captain, or hold on to them for dear life as the season seems destined for more crazy drama after an absolutely WILD gameweek 25. 13 games to go!!💪💪💪

Without further ado, we're busting down the saloon gates! Let's get into to, this is...the gameweek 25 recap!!!😤😤😤

Week in Review

Leeds (3) - Forest (1)

Bogle, Okafor, and the inevitable DCL trounce potentially relegation bound Forest 3-1. Lucca consolation goal to settle it. Mid gonna mid but Calvert Lewin continues his impressive campaign.

Man U (2) - Tottenham (0)

The dream run of form in the Carrick era continues as Man U comfortably bag their 4th win in a row thanks to a little help from none other than soon to leave Tottenham el Cuti Romero. I gotta admit, going in with an ankle breaker 9000 in the 29th minute is not the greatest strategy if you're trying to stay out of a relegation battle. But always a chance it pays off with red card 🟥 flubabies. In this case, it did not in fact pay off as Tottenham fans retreated deeper into hibernation as they chase their first PL win in 2026. I gotta say, in some ways I respect the Tottenham faithful for weathering the storm, but when you factor in the fact that they're so desensitized to losing and being bottom five that respect begins to fade to pity. Better days ahead Spurs, better days ahead 🙏

You really gotta question if he's just taking his frustration out after being promised the world by Frank and the board, only to get the same steamy pile of poo experience that comes with being on Spurs 💩💩💩. It's now or never for Romero, who needs to catch the next flight to Madrid this summer while he still can (only this time for much less than $70M)

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't praying we get Tottenham in the CL, the only thing they really seem to care about these days. But enough about depressing Spurs, let's talk about the red hot Yanited! Bruno Fernandes is absolutely cooking 🧑‍🍳 , returning to his world class form. Mbuemo continues to find goals as well, and you reaaaaaaally can't count out Man U just yet 👀👀👀

Even Goldbridge is happy! A whole month without getting bantered. The Man U boys are on cloud 9. In other news, this could finally be the end of a multi year journey for The United Strand, who sits just one West Ham game away from finally getting to cut his hair. Rooting for em, league is better when Man U aren't complete ass.

All eyes on the Red Devils tomorrow ✂️ 

Arsenal (3) - Sunderland (0)

Gyokeres is finally paying dividends for Arsenal as a super sub, bagging a brace and hitting his patented "See no trophy" celly. Just like in Super Mario Bros, the Womp is gonna get you every now and then.

Now personally, I will not be transferring him in, but with his current form and a tantalizing match up against the down and out Wolves, he could put up some big numbers with the double gameweek approaching. Man U seems to have woken up the Gooners, but 13 games is still a long, arduous road ahead. We seem to be on a collision course for 4/18 at the Etihad, not to mention some massive cup and CL games approaching. Time to see if they are really who they think they are. Gotta hand it to Arsenal, if they can keep their back line healthy it's going to take a lot to get past them. The only way to get through them may require a little bit more of that Manchester magic. Will the double gameweek tire them out, or build more momentum? As we know, those bees can be quite pesky! 🐝 

Now all this being said, I will tip my 10 gallon hat to La Liga man Zubimendi 🎩 

Some absolute brilliant technique here they just don't teach you in the Prem.

Bournemouth (1) - Aston Villa (1)

Villa going out gently into that good night it seems, now 9 points back from Arsenal. Not impossible to mount a comeback, but momentum is tanking for a team that may be all out of steam. Rogers and Rayan settle it at one a piece, with some of the worst defending I have ever witnesses with my own eyes. Congrats to Rayan on his first premier league goal and for earning a much needed point. Arsenal fans rejoice.

West Ham (2) - Burnley (0)

An absolute ass off in the fight for relegation, Summerville is a diamond in the rough as he helps earn a massive 3 points for the Hammers. Castellanos nails the coffin as West Ham goes 3 back on Forest for safety (6...SIX Back from Tottenham...SIX!!!), and 8 clear of Burnley. 

Everton (2) - Fulham (1)

Don't look now, but Everton have creeped their way into 8th place after 5 unbeaten in the last 5. Big win against a top 10 opponent. 2 OGs in this one as well, what is this an Arsenal game?

Cole Palmer (3) - Wolves (1)

3 big ones 🎩🎩🎩 for Mr. Palmer after most everyone gave up on him in FPL. Sure it's against Wolves, but if this can be the spark that brings Cole Palmer back to his old form, Chelsea can still make a serious run at 2nd place. Man U is getting all the attention, but Chelsea have quietly assembled 4 wins in a row as well and look to continue this form into this week, where they square off against Leeds.

Also these Julian Alvarez to Chelsea rumors gotta chill, I'm trying to win a treble over here! 😡😡😡😡😡😡

Newcastle (2) - Brentford (3)

Oh noooooo, Beef look out!!!!!! Here they come!! Oh no!!!! 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

Yes, it appears Brentford owns Newcastle yet again and Jacob Murphy thinks he's a goalie. A back and forth game capped by an 85th min winner from Outtara. A nice Igor pen for the road. At least that frosty will help with the swelling! 12th for Newcastle, who turn their full focus ahead to the CL.

Palace (1) - Brighton (0)

13th vs 14th in a battle of underperformers. Sarr is cookin though. Big W for Palace.

And now....for our feature presentation...the MHGOTW (He. Don't. Miss)...... 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Liverpool (1) - Man City (2)

In true MHGOTW fashion, absolute pandemonium broke out late, starting with a 74th min absolute masterclass from Szoboszlai on how to strike a dead ball. Just watch and enjoy:

The game seemed destined to go Liverpool's way. Man City has always struggled to get points at Anfield. The football world began to lose hope as it seemed Arsenal was destined to go 9 points clear at the top. Timo and Scott's smugness meter was beginning to break, even a tie would put things just about out of reach if City could even find a way to get one back. 9 more minutes pass..when suddenly..

1 - 1. Surely they couldn't snag another to bust this title race right back open again right?? Just gotta close this one out, no dumb mistakes, aaaand Alison oh noooooo!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Was it a pen, was it soft? Only thing I know is it got called. And who else, but the Viking himself to deliver justice against Pool in the 93rd.

And can we talk about this Donnarumma save?? Who was trying to tell me Raya was better than him?? SMH 🤦‍♂️ 

And to make matters worse, to end the game they actually gave Szoboszlai a red for denying a goal he didn't even deny thanks to a very questionable and controversial VAR review. Tough break for Cherki owners, a even tougher break for Liverpool who fight to even make Europa league after dropping $500M+ or whatever.

What. a. game. There's life afterall, as now TWO Manchester teams are making a serious title push. When it comes to Halaand, I haven't seem this much aura since like 2 days ago when the Quad God brought the USA a team gold medal. Ice Kings unite! Absolutely electric stuff.

Galaxy Brained Play of the Week 🌌🧠

• There is only one man who deserves this this week and it's none other than our very own.........

Top Dawg ⬆️🐶 

V4 Van de Vendetta - 89 pts

Go Saaaal, go Saaaaal, you're the man, go Saaaal! Woah slow down Sal you're stuntin on em too hard bro!

Absolute GALAXY play with the Cold Palmer captain, and suddenly Sal is back in top 10, 159 points off the top spot. It's going to take a miracle, but our former champion has pulled of some crazy late season runs before.  40 from Palmer, 10 from Bruno F, 10 from Rogers, 5 from Rice, 6 from Gabriel, and 11 from Haaland, what a return to lock in 89. Take a bow son, you've earned it!

Bottom Dawg ⬇️🦮

Henkdad - 44 pts

Tough tough week for the legendary HenkDad. Team went full on blankomode minus Igor Thiago, Haaland, and Gravenberch. Despite the bad week, it's been a solid campaign for HenkDad as he still sits top 16. Better days ahead, and he even won a consolation frosty!