Got the club goin up...on a (almost) Tuesday! You know I used to roast Klopp for complaining about fixture congestion but I'm starting to see he was just looking out for us commissioners out here. Hope everyone's week is off to a good start, the grind continues post holiday break and boy did this Monday have hands. But we keep on keepin on, this time with the epic week 13 recap!
Let's take a look at how everyone's favorite teams did!
Brentford (3) - Burnley (1)
Ok FINE, time to transfer in Igor Thiago so he can start blanking. Big brace from the lad to put Burnley away late. Goals from Outtara and Flemming as well to settle this at 3-1.
The biggest triple captain trap of the season so far with a Haaland blankosaurus rex 😭 but what a game from Lil Choden to keep Man City's season hopes alive. Goals from Gvardiol, Calvert-Lewin, and Nmecha settled this one for City in a must win.
Sunderland (3) - Bournemouth (2)
Another massive W for Sunderland after overcoming the most dangerous lead, featuring yet another Brobbey masterclass. Goals from La Fee, Traore, Adli and Adams to settle this high scoring game.
Newcastle (4) - Everton (1)
HOWAY THE LADS!! Back down to earth for the 11 men Everton the week I get Pickford back. Shouts out to Newcastle as they lock in an emphatic W in the Saudi Kits to skyrocket all the way up to 13th place. Look out top 10!!! Thiaw brace (including a 1st min goal), Lewis Miley, BDNW, also made the score sheet as Dewsbury-Hall locked in a consoldation and ruined some clean sheets. Mid as they are, Newcastle has some potential for a second half run to lock in a European placement this year if they can be consistent.
Lads, it's Spurs!😂😂😂😂 It took a while for them to show their true colors but it's finally here. Frank ball is starting to fatigue as Tottenham slides to 12th. Conceding goals to Tete and Wilson in the first 6 min is a booooold strategy. Consolation goal from Kudus.
Now here's a nice way to bounce back from losing to 10 men Everton. Man U lacking consistency this year but they're getting solid results against solid opponents that juuuust could have them playing mid week games again that aren't freaking random ass league games on Thursdays smh...Good resilience from International Washed Starboys Mount and Zirkzee 💪💪 to bury Mateta's feeble attempts. Classic Mateta scoring the week after we drop him.
4 Ws in 5 for Villa who are somehow tied on points with 3rd place Chelsea despite a musty start. Somehow the league has done everything possible to make Arsenal look good. Believe it or not, Villa is only two games back from first! Solid goal from Kamara.
Brighton (2) - Nottingham Forest (0)
So looks like playing Brighton at your own home is harder than playing Liverpool at Anfield 🧐 Never a dull week in EPL! De Cuyper and Tzimas settled the score for a needed Brighton W. Don't look now but Brighton have snuck into 5th!
Liverpool (2) - Ten Men West Ham (0)
If I'm being fully honest, this game reminded me of when you just start out in FIFA Ultimate Team in Div 10 with all your bronze and silver players, maybe a gold Kingsley Coman on loan to round out the team and you get matched against the guy who's just dropped $1K on packs and has all the rare gold players. But this guy is absolute ass and the game is close most of the time, but then he wins on some BS because his players have a little more pace and shooting stats.
Isak scored quite an unremarkable goal to stop his drought in league play 13 weeks in. Throw in a suspicious Paqueta red and Gakpo seals the deal 2-0. Liverpool coming up for air before sinking further into the swamp.
Chelsea (1) vs. Arsenal (1)
A wise man once told me that you never boo the blues, who along with Man City may be one of our last hopes to stop the Arsenal W from happening and fulfilling the Bottleprophecy. I gotta say, Chelsea came out swinging and really should have left with all 3 points. Arsenal looked flat, and despite being down to 10 after a Caicedo ankle snapper, Chelsea gave them a beautiful taste of their own medicine on a Chalobah corner goal. Is this the start of the form drop for Bottle FC? 🫙 Find out this week against the pesky bees themselves! Merino back in the false 9 as Thickokeres gets back in form. Arsenal looking a little less formidable as the injuries begin to mount. Watch out, here comes Caicedo! 😱
Galaxy and Boneheaded Plays of the Week 🍖🧠
Yet another musty week for many, but one moment of brilliance outshined the rest!
Boneheaded 🦴👨 :
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Haaland triple captainers, where my dogs at?
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Caicedo players, warra -2 as they say
Galaxy Brained 🌌🧠
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Perhaps the most epic play of the year so far..a wiley impulse triple Foden captain from none other than this week's top dawg..drum roll......
Pushing some lines - 68pts
In what may be the play of the season so far, our very own Jake Runnals shot from the hip and ripped a crazy Foden triple captain in a week where everyone thought Haaland would eat. 45 pts alone, Foden locked in and delivered a tantalizing brace to skyrocket Mr. Runnals all the way up to 24th. Add in a Gvardiol and a Woltemade goal, with a few 2s and 3s scattered around, and there you have it. Take a bow and say hi to Indie for us!
Well I see why Ben Finn calls his team blind fatih...jeez what an absolute musty week for the lad as he produces what may be the worst week of the year so far. Starting Caicedo, blanks from Guehi, Senesi, Keane, Semenyo, Grealish, Kroupi, Haaland, and Joao Pedro must huuuuuuurt! Best player was Donnaruma with 5 only because he saved a Pen - I mean this was an absolute shocker for Mr. Finn who now sits 27th. Better days ahead for the lad I'm sure.
And that will do it for week 13, hoping these mid week games cure the post TG slump!!
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