Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan I feel like I was just writing one of these like two days ago😭😭..but we're right back into this with a high scoring week full of surprises!😈😈😈 How did everyone do in our mid week showdowns? How was this not a double gameweek? Find out below!
Bournemouth (1) - Everton (0)
Yeaaaaa I'm thinking about being fully out on Bournemouth. Terrible run of form, but an absolutely scrumptious shut out from Pickford at least. Goal from Grealish as he looks to return back to form. Big W for Cal💪
Man City (5) - Fulham (4)
Now this was a game! 💥💥💥💥💥 Absolute clinics from both Haaland (the week after many triple captains were wasted) and Foden who is finally finding his form secure another close W for Man City and keep their title hopes still afloat. Goal for Haaland + 2 assists, a goal for Reijnders, brace for Foden, and an OG from Berge outweigh a valiant effort from Smith Rowe, Iwobi, and a Chukwueze brace.
Newcastle (2) - Spurs (2)
Drawcastle strikes again!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 This time at the hands of the mighty soon to be Atletico transfer Cuti Romero. It was nice of him to lock in a top performance as he prepares for his departure this winter. Bruno opened the score, only to be equalized by Romero 7 min later. After a AG pen it looked all but settled until the Argentine Anchor put away a an absolute wordlie slowest bicycle kick 🚲 ever equalizer in the final throws to lock in a big point for Spurs. Yellow jerseys continue to be an eyesore.
Arsenal (2) - Brentford (0)
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN 🥱🥱🥱🥱 Most boring title run ever. But I gotta say, Arsenal may not even need a healthy Gyokeres if Merino can stay fit. While not a true stiker by definition, the man finds ways to get results. A rare Arsenal W not involving a set piece. Saka sealing the deal in the 95th min. Going 5 points clear of City and 6 points clear of...Villa?
Another absolute thriller this week as Villa's crazy run of form continues with 4 Ws in a row. Ollie Watkins is back from the dead and bagged a brace, with Onana and Malen piling on as well. A Van Hecke brace on the Brighton end and a Torres OG settles this one. Are we at the dentist cuz this was a biiiiig week for braces 👨
I know the people love to see a Guehi to Munoz assist. Not sure why I never transferred in Munoz but probably why I am not top 10 lol.
Nottingham Forest (1) - Wolves (0)
Wolves gonna Wolves. Still winless after 14 weeks, looks like relegation is coming sooner than expected as they continue to freefall. Goal from Igor Jesus as Forest call one point out of 4th to last.
Elland Roooooad, take me hooome, to the plaaaace, Chelseaaaa get's absolutely fuuuuuuuucked 3-1! Calvert-Lewin, and Tanaka! And Bijoooooool! Elland Roooooad. 🤠 I can still smell the mess Chelsea made when they shat their title dreams away to relegation fighting Leeds. After their super bowl last week of tying Arsenal at home, looks like dark days ahead for the Blues. Consolation Neto goal for his owners.
Liverpool (1) - Sunderland (1)
Really tough draw here for Sunderland who fumbled an away win late against a lesser opponent after a shank led to an OG. They were outplaying Liverpool the whole game, with a deserved goal from Talbi in the 67th. If you watched this game without knowing the situation you'd think Liverpool was the newly promoted side. I'm not ready to call the Wirtz watch off, despite him technically getting an assist on the OG. Honestly, until Liverpool proves they're not ass I am expecting every match for the rest of the season to be a battle for them. Too washed and too arrogant to save the season. Excited to watch the plummet continue!
Man U (1) vs. West Ham (1)
Nothing like West Ham at home to remind you to taper all expectations of Man U bouncing back this year and returning to Europa League. But is it really Man U's fault, they haven't played a mid week game all season since Grimsby sent them to the Shadow Realm!😂😂😂 Goals from Dalot and Magassa to settle this one. Man U top 8 tho and still ahead of Pool and Midcastle!
Galaxy Brain Plays of the Week 🧠
Many solid plays in this high scoring week
Galaxy Brained 🌌🧠
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Munoz and Guehi stackers, 14 pts each for the Palace anchors!
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Foden holders, despite being ass all year, he's turning up now and has bagged 4* goals in 2 games!
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Haaland TC'ers who waited just one more week. A goal and 2 assist this week, a blank last week. Patience prevails.
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Special shout out to Ben Finn for the most improved award, going from 17 pts last week to 93 this week without using his TC!
Speaking of Haaland Triple Captainers and Guehi and Munoz stackers, nicely done sir! 70 pts between those 3 alone. Throw in a Kudus assist, Semenyo defensive contributions, a Virg 4, and a Sels clean sheet and there you have it! Our Top Dawg and current 33rd best player in the league.
Ludicrous Display - 31 pts
Sniff sniff sniff...Roldan Roldan Roldan...say it ain't so! The man got the app deleted from his phone yet again!!! Yes it seems this year the ol set it and forget it strategy will not fly! And boy is this team still musty as can be! When Sels, Neco Williams and Gittens are your top 3, the jersey purchase may be inevitable. Still time to turn it around, but each week Ludicrous Display stays further into the abyss.
That's all for GW14!! Have a great weekend and see y'all in the chat!
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