GW16: Malice in Sunderland and the Werewolves of London! 🐺🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Awwwwwwww yeah! It's the week 16 recap! It's Friday night, I'm currently borrowing my friend's laptop to write this saving hella memes to their desktop. It's just the sacrifice I do for y'all to keep this content coming for 38 gameweeks. I ain't ever missing a post. We got some fixture congestion incoming, but worry not - the show must go on. 😤😤😤😤

But enough about me, let's talk about how everyone's team's fared this week. You may even win a frosty by the end of it!

Week in Review

Chelsea (2) - Everton (0)

Damn, is it me..or did the cold cold winter come a little earlier than usual this year. 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 That's right, Cole Palmer is officially back!!! Chelsea boys rejoice. Was it ever proven he broke his toe raging at fifa? Who cares, Chelsea is back into top 4 and building momentum to revive their title hopes. Everton still top 10, but better days ahead for them as they can't seem to break through to truly compete for Europe. Goal from Mr. Gusto to seal a quality W for the blues.

Liverpool (2) - Brighton (0)

Wow, what an upset from Liverpool over Brighton to go 3 points clear of the Seagulls and lock in 7th place!!!👏👏👏Amazing brace from Ekitike, who should be starting every game from here on out over the Stick bug from Bug's Life. If Liverpool keeps this up, maybe they can make the conference league this year. Arne Slot in, good job to the the Reds!

Fulham (3) - Burnley (2)

Things are going from bad to worse for Burnley as they look poised to return to the Championship. High scoring game and a solid W for Fulham who are seem destined to stay up but at the bottom half of the table. Smith Rowe, Bassey, and Wilson settled the score over Ugochukwu and Sonne. A solid mid off indeed.

Arsenal (2) - Wolves (1)

A-WHOOOOOOOOOO WEREWOLVES OF LONDON!! A-WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 🗣️🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕

Even though Arsenal barely scraped a W against the worst team in the league at home in stoppage time because of 2 OGs. I think this was a validating moral victory for everyone who knows what Arsenal is truly all about. This is a team who lost their mojo after getting exposed by Villa. They do not have what it takes to sustain their form and the walls are closing in on them.

I'm sure we'll be hearing alllll about November Arsenal for many season to come, but I can sense the Arsenal fans are clinging to the last grasps of hope for their season, and the last moments of being top of the league. I just hope they keep up the first half energy when it all crumbles down.

Zero goals from Arsenal players against winless Wolves, and they really think they're the best in the world?? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Man City (3) - Crystal Palace (0)

Yeaaaaaa, Haaland is match up proof and Foden may be the most in-form player in the league at the moment. Man City is picking up momentum, and sits only 2 pts back still from the quivering Arsenal. Only a matter of time....⏳⌛️

Nottingham Forest (3) - Tottenham (0)

Hudson-Odoi brace??? In 2025??? Against Tottenham??? It's absolutely shameless from Spurs who are condemned to sit in their own sorrow. Honestly, if I were Cuti Romero I'd be pissed and book the next flight out to Madrid to join Atleti, a team that can actually compete for something this season. Sangare with the cherry on top. Spurs fans remain as silent as ever as the season ends before it really ever began.

Sunderland (1) - Newcastle (0)

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

1. Imagine your rival is Sunderland, who just got promoted.

2. Imagine losing to your newly promoted rival

3. Imagine losing because your new $93M USD striker bags a bar down header into your own net after getting siked out because someone clapped 😂😂😂😂😂.

4. Imagine not taking a group photo after the game

Still bottom 10 for Newcastle, who may actually finish dead middle this year as predicted! The real question is...can an own goal win a Puskas?????

West Ham (2) - Aston Villa (3)

Despite going down 2-1, Villa found a way to fight back and lock in a crucial W to stay within striking distance of Man City and Arsenal. Massive brace from Rogers following an OG from West Ham. Bowen and Fernandes' valiant attempts were futile as West Ham continues to struggle

Brentford (1) - Leeds (1)

Calvert-Lewin is ON FIRE!!! Leeds barely out of the relegation zone, CL looking like a strong play moving forward. Goal from...Hendo?? Right before the world cup? If only Mr. Southgate was still in charge!

Aaaaand I think that wraps up our games...wasn't there mid week cup games too this week, did anyone else play? If so..why are they playing mid week if not a cup or European football? Oh waaaait:

Man U (4) vs. Bournemouth (4)

4 more goals for Man U?? Is this the greatest offense in the Prem?? Why don't I have Bruno Fernandes??

Absolute blockbuster game for Monday FC. No defense, just vibes from Man U and Bournemouth. Goals from Diallo, Casemiro, Bruno, and Cunha were offset by goals from Semenyo, Evanilson, Tavernier, and Kroupi. Big hair guy losing relevance as Man U may never actually win 5 in a row again.

Galaxy Brain Plays of the Week 🧠 

Biiiiig brain moved indeed

Galaxy Brained 🌌🧠 

• Those who didn't succumb to the Arsenal trojan horse, and stayed true to the way of the Haaland captain

• Foden owners still up baby!!

• Fernandes holders, what a run of form!!

• Undoubtedly number 1 is Gavin's galaxy brain Harry Wilson captain, 32 points!!

Top Dawg ⬆️🐶 

Shrephaskus - 90 pts

I'm not gonna lie, I have no idea what a Shrephaskus is. Sounds like a dinosaur, but for this week it means only one thing, top MF Dawg. What a week for David B, who went nuclear in the midfield with big time points from Saka, Bruno, Foden, AND Wilson. This massive week launched him into 16th place, take a bow lad!!

Bottom Dawg ⬇️🦮

Tottenham Titans - 45 pts

Tough week for Mr. Jonathan D. It ain't easy being a Tottenham fan these days, but our Bottom Dawg did his best Tottenham impression as he plummeted to 34th place. All blanks minus a Semenyo 6 and a Haaland captain to save some pain. But all around musty performance, expecting better days ahead for the lad.

That'll do it for GW16! Frosty Spin incoming in the near future!!