Another Thursday, another recap baby! It's late, but I ain't missing the deadline! Special shout out to Niall for jumping in last week with a spectacular recap as always🙏 Hate it or love it, new commish is back to take the reins and recap what proved to be a biiiiig goal scoring extravaganza (for some, more on this later). With only 14 gameweeks left, shit's starting to get real as European spots slip out of reach for some, and prove slippery to hold on to for others. Cup battles intensify, and the knockout rounds begin for CL. Everything to play for as the world unites against the evil tyrant, Arsenal.
Sit back, relax (Damn Beef, it's just banter bro, chill dawg), and enjoy the GW24 Recap!! 🎉🎉🎉
Brighton (1) - Everton (1)
Goals for Gross and Beto, what is this 2021??
Lads...it's only Leeds yet Arsenal are acting like they've pulled off an impossible W after slumping for 3 games in a row. I used to be thoroughly convinced Real Madrid was the most shameless club in the world, but Arsenal are doing everything in their power to take the throne 🤦♂️ Like it or not though, Arsenal seem to be doing just enough to stay outside of 3 points from their competition. But as the FA Cup, Carabao, and CL heat up further, can they optimally rotate and stay on the good side of variance to see this one through? It's theirs to lose, and by god are we all hoping they do 🙏🙏🙏
If there were any doubts on if they'd be focused on the match ahead of this one, I will say Arsenal put them to bed quite early thanks to the help of a familiar friend..
What's worse is, after this game they would then go on to produce, along with the help of Chelsea, the most boring, lackluster, uninspiring, musty semi-final leg two match I have ever witnessed with my own eyes. I don't want to ever hear Atleti is anti-football again when we are witnessing the massacre of the beautiful game as we know it at the hands of slow, cold, death that is Arsenal's style of play. The worst part of it all? How they celebrated like they had won their first real trophy since 2019/2020. Absolutely insufferable team 👎👎👎👎
Bournemouth (2) - Wolves (0)
Kroupi and Scott nail the coffin on Wolves in a 2-0 W. Wolves will officially be playing championship football next season against my favorite English club, Stoke! (And maybe even with Tottenham!). RIP Wolves maybe see you after next year.
Chelsea (3) - West Ham (2)
You know what they say, 2-0 is the most dangerous lead! Just ask Alea and the Hammers! What looked like an emphatic W for West Ham to fight out of relegation after Bowen and Summerville goals turned into an absolute nightmare as Chelsea responsed with 2 unanswered to lock in a much needed 3 goals. Joao Pedro, Cucurella, and super transfer Enzo buried this one late.
The footballing world continues to take out its ire against Cucurella, this time courtesy of the last man on earth I'd want to fight, Adama Traore 💪💪💪. I have never seen a man get tossed like a rag doll like what he did to Cuc, well..take a look for yourself.
Oh wait..wrong clip, here ya go!
I love how Joao Pedro tried to square up on him after..crazy.
As we already know, Chelsea would then go on to whimper out of the Carabao cup against the Arsenal fortress without any desire to actually attack, truly sad stuff here.
Liverpool (4) - Newcastle (1)
Speaking of Hulk Smashes, how about this Hulk sized peening Poocastle 💩🏰 received at the hands of finally in form Wirtz, Konate, and alleged Fernando Torres incarnate, Mr. Brace, Ekitike. Say it with me for Beef to hear.....
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
It appears they are not in fact who they think they are, and the mighty Poocastle has fallen as back down to 11th they go with their tails between their legs. Liverpool on the other hand, get their first win out of 5 games, looking to creep back into top four to close out the back third of the season. But surely they were focused on bigger games ahead right, like the second leg of the Carabao Cup vs. Man City right? A chance to put another trophy in the ol cabinet..surely they competed a little bit right? Aaaaaaand...
Big Moush is ON FIRE rn, Newcastle lose 5-1 on aggregate to big bank. Tough run of games for the lads.
Villa (0) - Brentford (1)
Villa just can't seem to cash in on Ws they need to challenge the thrown. Despite a golden opportunity to get 3 points after a Schade red, they end up conceding to Ouattara and not being able to score for a full half. It's looking like Man City is the only team that can put a stop to this nonsense.
Man United (3) - Fulham (2)
What looked like an absolute meltdown after going up 2-0 via Casemiro and In-form Cunha goals turned into last minute elation, as the big man Sesko kept the dream win streak alive for Man U, sealing it in the 94th. Absolute class from Bruno as well👌👌👌 Consolation goals from Jimenez and Kevin.
There really is some magic in the air now with Carrick ball, can they make it 4 in a row next week against none other than Tottenham at Old Trafford?? Only time will tell. If they can pull this off, all eyes will fall to one man..
You know, maybe fixture congestion has really been their problem the whole time! Rooting for em, good to see a team get their spark back while also playing entertaining football.
Nottingham Forest (1) - Palace (1)
Forest staying juuuuuust out of relegation now with the West Ham L. Palace seem condemned to finish the season without qualifying for anything significant.
Totteham (2) - Man City (2)
Something about Tottenham always seems to make Man City tweak in the craziest ways. After yet another 2-0 lead thanks to Cherki and new signing Semenyo, Man City seemed poised to stay within 4 of Arsenal. Enter Domenic MF Solanke (and former Atleti man Connor "Is it good, is he bad, idk but he works really hard" Gallagher). A Solanke brace featuring an absolute Puskas level goal you just have see to believe settled this at 2 a piece and pushed Arsenal a little bit closer to glory.
Sunderland (3) vs. Burnley (0)
Last and kinda least, Burnley loses 3-0 to Sunderland with no Brobbey contributions thanks to a stupid ass own goal update.booooo!!! Diarra and Talbi snag goals in a emphatic W for Sunderland to stay topocho.
Boneheaded Plays of the Week 🍖
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Me, the Brobbey captain was very boneheaded. Stupid Stupid Stupid
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Anyone who played a Newcastle defender, am I right lmaooooo! Swiss cheese ass defense head ass
Galaxy Brained Plays of the Week 🌌🧠
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Bruno captainers, that man is going crazy! 20 pts on the week. Nicely done yall, guess I really missed the memo here..
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Bowen players, despite the L, a nice solid 8 for the man
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Enzo players, was also getting that late one
ALEA HAS DONE IT!! An epic top dawg performance from Alea to secure some much needed breathing room from the bottom of the pack. Now officially top 39, Alea popped off with the Casemiro + Bruno (C) midfield to lock in 33, then held it down with Truffert, Mukiele, Timber, and Raya.
Very nicely done, Alea now goes 138 clear of Roldan with 14 more weeks in the tank.
Milliesborough F.C. - 37 pts
It would appear, I've been a very bad dawg yet again. Tried to get too cute with the Brobbey captain, still trusting Foden as well. This one is on me. The good news is I'm getting awfully close to the Newcastle award at least! You're welcome David Oliver for sparing you some embarassment with that 39 you put up as well. Just an absolutely awful week.
And that'll do it! To all a good night, and may gameweek 25 be as exciting as 24!
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