Lads I'm going to give it to you straight, it's not looking good fam👀👀👀. After another dramatic week of EPL, and now with only 3 game weeks left, Arsenal find themselves up 4 pts and up 4 goals on GD on City. And worst of all, despite a semi-valiant effort from Atleti (we had em in game one just weren't clinical, game two just didn't have the mojo), find ourselves in a scenario where Arsenal could pull of either a historic double, or a historic double heart break if Man City and PSG can secure the Ws.
Straaaaanger things have happened in the the world of football, and I have a feeling even more craziness is incoming to close out the year. Speaking of stranger things...Beef's once untouchable lead is now down to 59 with 3 games to go...squeaky bum time indeed👀👀👀👀. But without further ado, let's see how we got to this position as FPL cup action heated up in the round of 16!!🏆
Round of 16 CUP ACTION!!! 🏆🏆🏆
8 more teams said goodbye to their cup hopes and 8 fight on to reach the quarterfinals. Congrats to me (despite an ill-timed bench boost from former cummish), Sean Joseph, Scott, Salih, John Bernard, Brian P, Matt D, and Gus. Only the strongest shall survive to claim the cup!
Now let's get to the games!
Can you hear the chants of the Milliesborough faithful for Okafor? MVP MVP MVP!!!!🎉🎉🎉 Nicely done from Leeds, who are ending the season strong while Burnley prepare for the Championship yet again. DCL up to his usual tricks, Stach stackin it up. Leeds unbeaten in 5.
Brentford (3) - West Ham (0)
Not what the fans wanted, but it's what we got. Juuuust about will do it for West Ham, dreams of relegating Tottenham may juuuust about be over unless they can do the impossible: Relegate Tottenham and open the league race right back open with a W against Arsenal this week. We are all cheering on Alea's Hammers this week!!! Go Irons!!!!!! 🔨
Newcastle (3) - Brighton (1)
Do my eyes deceive me?? A Newcastle W? In this economy? You know what they say, Newcastle never loses 5 in a row! Big day for Big Dan burn, Osula, and Barnes to get a much needed result and keep Europe still in play. Tough break losing Lewis Miley however. But say it with me everyone: HOWAY THE LAAAADS!! 💪💪
Wolves (1) - Sunderland (1)
Relatively inconsequential game, but we looooove the Sunderland defensive contributions and Mukiele goal. Sunderland still fighting for Europe, but I'm sure are happy to live to comfortably play another season in the prem next season.
Absolute piss poor effort from Fulham to rollover for Arsenal and put them back in the driver's seat while simultaneously boosting their CL confidence. Pointless ass club, I pray for your relegation next year! SHAME ON YOU FULHAM!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
But hats of to Arsenal for taking care of business ahead of their biggest game of the season against my dear Atleti. We may be seeing the arc that Trent should have gone on with Lewis-Skelly, great game from a guy who if he can stay healthy will have a very nice career ahead of him.
And while of course I hope PSG absolutely obliterates Arsenal in the CL final and that Arsenal simulataneously find a way to still lose the league in the most heartbreaking of fashions, I will say fair play to Arsenal (except for Sergio Ramos wannabe Gabriel🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬). They've done well to turn their haters into motivators, and Arteta phrased it well to say they are building something for their true believers vs. succeeding to spite their many doubters. I personally do not think they have the attacking quality this year to close out the CL having to start Jabberjaw 🦈 after eating 1000 Big Arch Meals (aka wompy) up top, but I expect a close, conservative game where all it takes it one counter attack to settle it if PSG can't find a goal early on. All eyes on Budapest to see if Arsenal can close out the dream season, or to show they are in fact destined for 2nd place.
Bournemouth (3) - Palace (0)
Kroupi and Rayan doing Kroupi and Rayan things. Palace falls to 15th, Bournemouth sneeeeaking into Europa league qualification at the moment at 6th. Much to play for still!
Man U (3) - Liverpool (2)
Statement win from Man U in the MHGOTW to clinch champions league football agains and keep Liverpool down at 4th. After going up 2 extremely easily on inferior Liverpool thanks to former Atleti man Cunha and big Sesko. They decided it would be funny to play with their food as they produced some absolute gimmes for the Mog-gawd and Gakbruh. But it would be none other than Mainoo himself to close this one out with a clean strike in the 77th min, banishing pool to the L-realm😂. Excited to see what ol Slot can cook up next season as they throw some more millions in the acid vat. But in a more heart warming story line, this may just be it for United Strand if they can win the next 2, and what a way to close out the season it would be! Bruno lowkey robbed of an assist (rule needs to be changed), but at least they gave him one in FPL. Hoping he can secure the record to close out the season would be cool to see.
Carrick in? Big Hoj and Rashford coming back? Time will tell!
Villa (1) - Tottenham (2)
No Archie Gray? No Problem, Peppa Pig 🐷, Richarlison, and Conor Gallagher start in a must win for Spurs that may just be the turning point to keep them up to fight another season. Veeeeery suspicious activity from Villa to throw at a time like this at home I will say. But gotta admire the spirit Tottenham are showing to face this dark moment with courage and fight. I'm sure Romero will be inspired by this from the bench as he gears up for a World Cup defense and for a big summer move to Atleti.
Yaaaaay Peppa, go Peppa, go Peppa! Wait Peppa no you're celebrating too hard Peppa watch out!!! Oh noooooo!
Nottingham Forest (3) vs. Chelsea (1)
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Things going from bad to worse for Chelsea who remain in free fall as Cole Palmer has completely checked out off the face of the earth missing a crucial pen to keep European hopes alive. Some absolutely scary injuries in this game as well as Jesse Derry got knocked out cold and MGW split his face open. Insult to injury as Chelsea's only hopes to salvage the season look to fall on the FA Cup final against City. 10 pts back from CL and currently 9th, better days ahead for the Blues.
Absolutely gnarly injury for Gibbs White who showed full skull on this collision. Praying for a speedy recovery for the lad!
Everton (3) vs. Man City (3)
Baaaaad result for City that could have been much much worse if it weren't for Count Doku's heroics on Star Wars day. Guehi with an absolute mental blunder to give Everton the lead, then down 3-1 they had to dig deep to get the point back but found a way thanks to Haaland, King Kova, and and absolute screamer to end the game from Doku to lock in the brace.
While it save their chances to still win, it sends them back two on Arsenal, who seem poised to end the year with at least one trophy barring and absolute meltdown.
It's been a minute, but hey, in honor of MGW's gash, let's celebrate some bone heads this week!
Boneheaded Plays of the Week 🍖
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Niall's big ol epic fail bench boost to lose in the cup after thanking me for another bye. Not so funny now is it, Mr. Oliver? Uh chat, is 5 pts from your bench boost good? Lmk in the comments. Anyways..like nsync once said, BYE BYE BYEEEEE!! Niall rn (got his ass):
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Mavropanos players, sick own goal to disallowed goal combination!
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Anyone who played bitchass Fulham players. Frick Fulham
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Ollie Watkins truthers, just horrible horrible stuff here.
Don't look now, but Matt D is slowly crawling up the ranks to be in prime Newcastle award territory. Monster week from the man who never changed his team name with a Szoboslai 13 (despite the L), Okafor 10 (legend), Haaland 14, Wompy 16, and DCL 6. Take a bow lad, and best of luck to finish 22nd!
Matt dluogpolski - 42 pts
Well well well, if it isn't the man pretending to be the top dawg, Matt D, who finds himself at bottom dawg this week. You just can't make this stuff up. Will the real Matt D please stand up? Absolutely abysmal week from the lad who blanked on all fronts minus Haaland and Igor. Take a look for yourself, soooo musty:
Welp, that will do it for GW35. Crazy to say, but we really do only have 3 weeks to go! Title is still up for grabs, will Beef bottle it in fantasy? Will Scott and Arsenal both get 2nd? All to be decided THIS MONTH!! Have a great rest of your week yall!
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